Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
