Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize