Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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