ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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