I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
