You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
