So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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