I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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