Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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