I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
the raccoons are back...
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