All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
