apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
