Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
