so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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