It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
