wakey wakey hands off snakey
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize