Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
