I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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