I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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