i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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