I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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