I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
