It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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