I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
