apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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