I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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