His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
