Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
