you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My vagina is very pro this idea
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