did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
