two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Randomize
