He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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