Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
