Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Randomize
