I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
