using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just want to make out with him forever
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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