I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
