The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
