I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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