Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
