I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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