He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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