Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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