you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
