She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize