my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
