forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
