I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
two words...techno handjob
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We are all done wearing pants today
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
