dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
