is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
