mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize