In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
