I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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