I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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