I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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