The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am naked and annoyed.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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