I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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