omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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