All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
