Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
